I, cigarette fingers
puff and poke
puff and poking the smoke
touches the ground

You, your lungs and your wrists
they throb like trains
choo choo choo
it's a prison of sound

of sound

She, by my chinny chin chin [buying chilly chin-chin?]
Eee-oh Eee-oh
Like a zippo smokes the way
hope, around

You, your lungs and your wrists
they throb like trains
choo choo choo
It's a prison of sound

a prison of sound

She, by the hair of my chinny chin chin
Eee-oh Eee-oh Eee-oh Eee-oh
Like a zippo smokes the way
hope, around

You, your lungs and your wrists
they throb like trains
choo choo choo
it's a prison of sound

I poke around...

I have a friend in you, oh Mr Clarinet
You make me laugh, and then cry like the song of the clarinet.
Marry me, marry me alive O
I put on my coat of trumpets
Will she be there? Is my piccolo on straight?

Her white stockings and red dress that goes
swish, swish, swish around her legs of lace
Marry me, marry me alive O

Could you tell her
Would you tell her for me,
oh Mr Clarinet confidant
That I love her, love her, oh love her
I love her but I can't [wait]

Marry me, marry me alive O
Oh maybe, oh maybe lie down

I love her, love her, love her
Love her love her love her love her

It's a very happy day
We are at lots of fun fun fun
And it's ice-cream and jelly
and a punch in the belly
How much can you throw over the walls?

And see how his face glows
It's a bike! What a surprise.
It's a big bike. What a big surprise.
It's a red bike. What a red surprise.
Oh, what a surprise.

But the best thing there
But the best thing there
Was the wonderful dog chair
Was the beautiful dog chair
That could count right up to ten
It could count right up to ten
It went woof, woof, woof, woof, woof,
woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.

And it's another happy day.
He was born eleven years ago
And this year it's long trousers
and a very smart tie.
Just think in five years he'll be shaving.

And see how his face glows
It's a bike. What a surprise!
It's a samurai sword.
What a metal surprise.
He'll remember this day for the rest of his life.

But the best thing there
But the best thing there
Is that fabulous dog chair
The immaculate dog chair
That could count right up to eleven

It could count right up to eleven
It went woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof,
woof, woof, woof.

But the best thing there
But the best thing there
Was my darling the dog chair
But the rampaging dog chair
That could count right up to eleven
It could count right up to eleven.

And it went round and round the house.